Meet Oliver, mentor extraordinaire
Lessons learned from mentorship that introduced me to the worlds of tech, startups, product, and UX writing
After 3 years of complete misery at the end of my PhD, I was blessed to find my (professional) calling (for the foreseeable future). It was no one’s fault — academia and the sciences simply turned out not to be for me. I wasn’t particularly good at it and while it was fun for a while (a 3-year post bac, 2-year MSc, and the better part of a PhD-long “while” to be exact), the slow pace, limited human contact, and lack of control (if your cells up and die, there goes your experiment, no matter how hard you tried or how much time you invested), meant that the academic sciences and I were just not a match made in heaven.
I had been a journalist before my career in the sciences and I had continued to write and edit the whole time. I love writing and am better at it than I am at science. I would volunteer to write and proof grant proposals and manuscripts my lab sent out. I worked as a freelancer throughout my years in the lab, writing and editing on all the topics. All in all, writing seemed like a good direction for my next career move. The thing is, my ego was already fragile, and I wasn’t sure it could handle working in a field completely unrelated to science, in a sense, throwing 10 years of experience out the window.
But then a miracle happened and an established hi tech startup with genetics products needed a writer. Yay!
Then another miracle happened: I met Oliver*.
Oliver is a product manager — a really good product manager. I’m not sure why or how I merited his mentorship, but he took me under his wing and opened the bay doors for me, into the Product world. I want to tell you why Oliver was such a valuable mentor and why you should be Oliver or find an Oliver to adopt for yourself.
Oliver is knowledgeable
I learned by watching Oliver, by collaborating with him, and of course when he was teaching me directly. I believe Oliver is so knowledgeable for a number of reasons:
- He comes from a solid educational background (BSc in computer science + MBA from Wharton… Yeah, I know).
- He has had exceptional opportunities for hands-on learning (worked at Apple, Microsoft and Intel and ran his own startup for a stint).
- And of course, he has natural smarts.
At least as important:
- Oliver is curious, listening to podcasts and otherwise pursuing continuing education.
- And he is humble (more on that later…) which means he’s open to feedback and to learning from those around him, regardless of hierarchy, disagreeable temperaments, or other obstacles to leveraging every advantage to learn more.
It’s helpful if your mentor knows stuff.
Oliver is generous
He didn’t have to teach me a damn thing. He was not my boss and I was not his responsibility. Oliver just saw that I was hungry and he isn’t a stingy person who only gives if there is foreseeable reciprocity involved. Oliver gave because he could. He let me know when he couldn’t — when he was too busy, stretched too thin — as gently and subtly as he could. But if he had the bandwidth, he didn’t hesitate to help me grow.
I know that Oliver is a generous person, and not just someone who likes to hear himself talk, because he listened to me — really listened to me with his whole self — even on topics that were only tangential to our immediate tasks. He donated freely from his vast experience to give me perspective on internal politics, advice on general professional development, background on the business bit of it all, and of course on UX and other elements of my actual job. He had what to contribute in many areas, and so he did.
It’s helpful if your mentor is as willing to give as you are to take.
Oliver is respectful
He gives credit in public and criticizes in private. He is generous with his complements but only when deserved and in a context that makes sense and is authentic. He doesn’t bother to criticize if he doesn’t believe the recipient will be receptive — constructive criticism is not constructive if the person on the receiving end is not ready to hear it and will be hurt and not change.
Oliver speaks kindly to everyone. He didn’t cancel meetings without telling you why and giving you enough advanced notice, if possible, to reorganize your time. He admitted when he was wrong and gave credit when sharing other people’s ideas. Oliver respects people and so people respect him.
It’s helpful if your mentor genuinely believes you’re worth his or her time.
Oliver is a real leader
Being a product manager in an agile environment is not easy. You have to get copywriters, UX and UI designers, developers, QA engineers, and analysts all to do stuff, but you’re not technically the boss of any of them. Oliver has the most understated charisma I’ve ever seen.
When I first met him, I thought he looked like a big dork — this guy was definitely not suave. But as you get to work with Oliver you realize that his look is the look of honesty, humility, focus and professionalism and that radiates out to his team who in turn respect him, trust him and turn to him to lead them.
Oliver always made himself available to his team. He listened to them, asked their advice. Looped them in (and me) more than he had to or than most product managers would have. He respects each person’s expertise and while he certainly has opinions, at the end of the day he trusts the specialists who surround him.
I watched Oliver update the team once on the quarterly roadmap. It was an ad hoc meeting in response to the team feeling that they were not being looped in early and broadly enough; that they didn’t have a full enough picture of what they were being asked to do; that they were a bit too cog-like. Oliver heard that (still not sure if it was stated explicitly or if he tuned in to a vibe) and reacted by calling an official meeting to get everyone up to speed.
He didn’t sit at the head of the table; he sat in the middle, among equals. He answered all of the questions that were asked, patiently, directly and completely. When there were questions the answers to which were too uncertain to be valuable, he explained exactly why the answers were unknown, and what pieces needed to fall into place before he would have clarity. A dozen extremely talented developers left that meeting not with transient “go team” enthusiasm to code in a frenzy which would wear off in two days; but rather with a solid fortitude, a “hunker down and get it done” aura about them — a real internal, personal commitment to build an optimal product by the deadline. I sat in a similar meeting with a different team and a different product manager once: compared to Oliver, that PM just got it all wrong. Oliver’s way is not to be taken for granted, as natural as he makes it look.
As for being my leader: times that Oliver increased my commitment and value happened when he asked my opinion on issues not necessarily within my technical scope of practice, as I started to actually know stuff and become more valuable on the UX/brainstorming/spec level. That empowerment made me better at my job. It gave me an opportunity for feedback on a higher, deeper, and more strategic level than in any other context.
It’s helpful if your mentor brings out the best in you and makes your best even better.
Oliver is humbly authoritative
He has the knowledge and position to simply assert his authority but he doesn’t do that. He is humble — he doesn’t even have good posture, doesn’t physically radiate strength. But he also doesn’t speak in a way that contradicts that first impression, which would catch you off guard and make you feel foolish. I’ve never heard him raise his voice, or curse, or say anything remotely sounding like an order or command. I believe that softness is a major part of his strength. You agree with him before you even feel the push back, and that’s no small feat.
It helps if your mentor gives you confidence and is a pleasure to be around.
Be Oliver
If you are or might be a mentor, be Oliver. If you don’t have a mentor, find your Oliver. Every profession and every professional can benefit.
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent.
